Quarter-life Crisis

https://open.spotify.com/track/58hzFlHm1gKIJzRMSt0vWV?si=EzSr-li0SW-9_3AyLr_uqQ&utm_source=copy-link

My blog is empty, and my notes app is full. No less than 23 folders full of ramblings that didn't make it here. Because I didn't want the blog to get too heavy. As if the months long silence wasn't heavier. 

19 is hard. It hurts a lot, and nobody prepares you for it. What could have prepared me? I'm confident in my choices. I've done what I needed to. 

And I'm almost 20. One more month of this: this hard job that went the same way that all of my jobs seem to, this town that is so lovely but isn't enough to make up for the hurt it came with. 20 feels like a fresh start, in a way. I'm quitting my job and pursuing what I actually want to do. I'm going to Europe, and then I'm coming back here to do something meaningful. No more windows. No more temporary jobs.

Call it a quarter life crisis. I'm so young; there's plenty of time to change. 

If the next thing is better, and I'm not so burnt out, I'll write more. And if not, I'll survive that too. Things get better. They have to. 

- Aliya