Sometimes

Sometimes it's 2:00pm and the sun is shining and you're as happy as you've ever been. Sometimes trouble rolls right past you, like an asteroid just missing earth, and you walk through unscathed. Sometimes you say "God is good!", because you see the sunrise ahead of you and the flowers that grow along the road. 

Sometimes it's 1:30am and you're crying in bed, unable to sit up to wipe your tears, when everything is going wrong. Sometimes you drag yourself to work every day and wonder if you even have a purpose. Sometimes you long for what you used to have- you search for the flowers but find only weeds. The further you reach, the more the thorns dig into your fingertips. Sometimes you say "God is good", because you know that He is. Sometimes you can't say it at all. The sun sets quickly, and then it's dark. 

Sometimes your debit card stops working and you try desperately to stretch what cash you have- you buy $8 of gas so that you have enough left for $12 of groceries. You could call the number on the back of the card, but the thought of it is so exhausting that you just... Don't. 

Sometimes you hear a knock on your door at midnight, and it's a police officer, there to tell you that your car has been towed for missing plates. "I'm sorry, we had to tow it." "I know; I understand." But you don't understand. Don't understand why anyone would take your plates. Don't understand how everything can go wrong all at once and you can be left wondering what you have left to cling to. But sometimes it does. He says "Are you okay?" You say yes. 

Sometimes you wonder how you went from having everything, to this. How it changed so quickly. How can you come back from this? Sometimes you're not sure you will.

Sometimes you just have to try to sleep and hope tomorrow will be better. 

Sometimes you write a blog post in your notes app, and you contemplate deleting it without ever posting it. Sometimes you know that you have to share the bad with the good if you want to be real. When we normalize talking about our brokenness along with the healing, we humble ourselves and open ourselves to real Christian community. It is not the healthy that need a doctor, but the sick. Sometimes you come as you are, with nothing to give and no words to say, and Christ is sufficient anyway. 

Christ is sufficient anyway. 

- Aliya