Plane Thoughts Episode 3
11:08. Normally my rants begin shortly after takeoff whenever the first strange thing occurs, but this flight hasn't even left the tarmac, and, in fact, it has not even begun its safety demonstration. And yet, the two men on either side of me have made this an interesting flight already. For some reason, men seem to desire to take up as much space as physically possible. Is this like a lizard thing where they puff themselves up to make them more threatening? Someone explain this to me. I don't feel threatened, sirs, I just want at least one arm rest. The floor space between my seat and the window seat is not separated on this plane, and I am guarding the divide. He can't have my legroom too.
11:15. This row has no windows whatsoever. It's also a big plane, so even if the other side had a window, I would barely be able to see to it. Why is my phone out of service already? We aren't even rolling. I've just ignored the whole safety presentation writing this. I've flown a few planes like this before- I know the drill: find your nearest exit (remember, it may be behind you), lifejackets under the seat (just had to double check that to be sure).
11:19. We roll. The aisle man just stuck some sort of breath mint in his mouth, and he did it so quickly and suddenly that I laughed out loud. Who eats like that? His elbow is also over the armrest. Sir. Leave me be or I might not be friendly enough to ask if Ottawa is home when we land (and not a moment sooner- wouldn't want to prolong conversation for longer than necessary).
11:22. We roll faster. Now we turn, and I can't even see out a window. Should have flown in the cargo hold. At least that would be adventurous. Window man (or rather, 2.5 ft of empty wall space man) is asleep with his screen still on. If he leaves it after takeoff I am going to turn it off.
11:26. Out of the corner of window available to my right, I can see that we are undergoing de-icing. Wall man keeps bobbing his head, and whenever it's down I can see the shaft of the de-icer. Aisle appears to be doing some serious research on Air Canada on his screen- he found some pages of information (I don't even know where), and he's reading intently, occasionally sticking his head forward to fully absorb the information, or maybe when the writing is to small to read comfortably. He also just dug through the seat pocket while somehow never moving his arm from the armrest. Perhaps he knows that as soon as he moves I will be taking whatever space I can get.
11:37. My article on plane etiquette has loaded. According to New York Post, the middle seat is entitled to both armrests. Now if only I had airdrop so I could subtly inform them of that. I would like to cast it to their screens. Aisle is restless. I know he's waiting to leave. He has gone! The armrest is mine and I am not giving it back.
11:43. Ooh, this man! He has returned, and, upon returning, tried to push my arm away forcibly, then, upon failing at that, poked me and asked me to move my hand. I showed him the article. He asked why I couldn't use the other armrest. I told him that Wall was using it. He hesitated, then asked me why I couldn't be normal about it. SIR. Why do you need two armrests but you won't let me have one? This is going to be a long flight, likely heavly laden with rants.
11:51. Dear Aisle: on flights, we typically avoid touching people. Since I would not yeild the armrest today, he has placed his arm on the front of the armrest, pressing into mine. If this plane was less full, I would ask for a new seat. No I wouldn't. I don't do those things. Maybe today I will though. I already told a pushy man no once today, surely I can ask anyone for anything now. Unfortunately, although I have gained use of the armrests, I have only the very back part, which is optional typing position, but not optimal sleep position.
11:56. Men are truly a burden. If someone knows why they are like this, please feel free to explain. **Disclaimer: I am aware that not all men are like these two. If you are a male that I choose to talk to, I probably see you as an exception**
11:58. Aisle has moved his arm to a respectable location. Thank you sir.
11:59. Aisle is watching a movie on his screen that is set in space. A character is outside the space station doing repairs or something. He just looked down, jumped, and went down. Gravity has entered the chat. UPDATE: he is still falling, now through the atmosphere, but I am certain that the first shot was not within the atmosphere.
12:03. I think I'm going to sleep pre-orange juice this flight.
12:19. Aisle's movie is super low budget. I'm pretty sure parts on the moon Rover are made of tin foil and possibly cardboard. Now the tin foil Rover is being shot at. Would guns work like on Earth in a low-gravity area? How are there already feuding groups on the moon? When is this movie set? Another downward fall, this time directly into a crater. The Rover, although made of cardboard and tinfoil, does not bounce on bumps; it drives smoothly as if it was on a highway with Earth's gravity.
1:21. After 45 minutes trying to sleep, and 15 minutes contemplating whether it was worth it, I decided to get out to go to the bathroom. Aisle was polite about letting me out. I think he may be an immigrant from somewhere (strong accent, seems a little uncomfortable- perhaps he didn't know about plane etiquette here?).
1:27. This plane. Has a cigarette disposal. Not only is it out of place due to the 'no smoking on planes' rule, it also has space for only one cigarette. If you're not the first to smoke today, you have to hold it all flight. I suppose there may be one per bathroom? I didn't check. I took a confusion video and two confusion pictures.
1:34. Is 'Terminator' a horror movie? Or just a scary action movie? I don't know the difference. I don't like either. Someone ahead of me is watching one of the 'Terminator' movies, and it seems much more scientifically correct than whatever Aisle is watching (ignoring the technological advance stuff, speaking strictly of known scientific laws and phenomenons, and by 'known', meaning known by me with my basic science understanding). In my brief glances I have not seen any blatant breaking of laws of gravity or other physics. Chemistry and biology, probably. I can't tell who the bad guy is. Maybe all of them?
3:19. The flight attendants cut it super close this trip- they made their landing preparations when the plane reached 600m, then strambled for their seats just before landing. Altogether not too bad of a flight.
- Aliya
11:15. This row has no windows whatsoever. It's also a big plane, so even if the other side had a window, I would barely be able to see to it. Why is my phone out of service already? We aren't even rolling. I've just ignored the whole safety presentation writing this. I've flown a few planes like this before- I know the drill: find your nearest exit (remember, it may be behind you), lifejackets under the seat (just had to double check that to be sure).
11:19. We roll. The aisle man just stuck some sort of breath mint in his mouth, and he did it so quickly and suddenly that I laughed out loud. Who eats like that? His elbow is also over the armrest. Sir. Leave me be or I might not be friendly enough to ask if Ottawa is home when we land (and not a moment sooner- wouldn't want to prolong conversation for longer than necessary).
11:22. We roll faster. Now we turn, and I can't even see out a window. Should have flown in the cargo hold. At least that would be adventurous. Window man (or rather, 2.5 ft of empty wall space man) is asleep with his screen still on. If he leaves it after takeoff I am going to turn it off.
11:26. Out of the corner of window available to my right, I can see that we are undergoing de-icing. Wall man keeps bobbing his head, and whenever it's down I can see the shaft of the de-icer. Aisle appears to be doing some serious research on Air Canada on his screen- he found some pages of information (I don't even know where), and he's reading intently, occasionally sticking his head forward to fully absorb the information, or maybe when the writing is to small to read comfortably. He also just dug through the seat pocket while somehow never moving his arm from the armrest. Perhaps he knows that as soon as he moves I will be taking whatever space I can get.
11:37. My article on plane etiquette has loaded. According to New York Post, the middle seat is entitled to both armrests. Now if only I had airdrop so I could subtly inform them of that. I would like to cast it to their screens. Aisle is restless. I know he's waiting to leave. He has gone! The armrest is mine and I am not giving it back.
11:43. Ooh, this man! He has returned, and, upon returning, tried to push my arm away forcibly, then, upon failing at that, poked me and asked me to move my hand. I showed him the article. He asked why I couldn't use the other armrest. I told him that Wall was using it. He hesitated, then asked me why I couldn't be normal about it. SIR. Why do you need two armrests but you won't let me have one? This is going to be a long flight, likely heavly laden with rants.
11:51. Dear Aisle: on flights, we typically avoid touching people. Since I would not yeild the armrest today, he has placed his arm on the front of the armrest, pressing into mine. If this plane was less full, I would ask for a new seat. No I wouldn't. I don't do those things. Maybe today I will though. I already told a pushy man no once today, surely I can ask anyone for anything now. Unfortunately, although I have gained use of the armrests, I have only the very back part, which is optional typing position, but not optimal sleep position.
11:56. Men are truly a burden. If someone knows why they are like this, please feel free to explain. **Disclaimer: I am aware that not all men are like these two. If you are a male that I choose to talk to, I probably see you as an exception**
11:58. Aisle has moved his arm to a respectable location. Thank you sir.
11:59. Aisle is watching a movie on his screen that is set in space. A character is outside the space station doing repairs or something. He just looked down, jumped, and went down. Gravity has entered the chat. UPDATE: he is still falling, now through the atmosphere, but I am certain that the first shot was not within the atmosphere.
12:03. I think I'm going to sleep pre-orange juice this flight.
12:19. Aisle's movie is super low budget. I'm pretty sure parts on the moon Rover are made of tin foil and possibly cardboard. Now the tin foil Rover is being shot at. Would guns work like on Earth in a low-gravity area? How are there already feuding groups on the moon? When is this movie set? Another downward fall, this time directly into a crater. The Rover, although made of cardboard and tinfoil, does not bounce on bumps; it drives smoothly as if it was on a highway with Earth's gravity.
1:21. After 45 minutes trying to sleep, and 15 minutes contemplating whether it was worth it, I decided to get out to go to the bathroom. Aisle was polite about letting me out. I think he may be an immigrant from somewhere (strong accent, seems a little uncomfortable- perhaps he didn't know about plane etiquette here?).
1:27. This plane. Has a cigarette disposal. Not only is it out of place due to the 'no smoking on planes' rule, it also has space for only one cigarette. If you're not the first to smoke today, you have to hold it all flight. I suppose there may be one per bathroom? I didn't check. I took a confusion video and two confusion pictures.
1:34. Is 'Terminator' a horror movie? Or just a scary action movie? I don't know the difference. I don't like either. Someone ahead of me is watching one of the 'Terminator' movies, and it seems much more scientifically correct than whatever Aisle is watching (ignoring the technological advance stuff, speaking strictly of known scientific laws and phenomenons, and by 'known', meaning known by me with my basic science understanding). In my brief glances I have not seen any blatant breaking of laws of gravity or other physics. Chemistry and biology, probably. I can't tell who the bad guy is. Maybe all of them?
3:19. The flight attendants cut it super close this trip- they made their landing preparations when the plane reached 600m, then strambled for their seats just before landing. Altogether not too bad of a flight.
- Aliya
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